BOWRON-GATE...

POLICE CHIEF THROWS A TANTRUM BUT FORGETS FIRST RULE OF POLICE WORK - 'FACTS' REPORTED IN THE JEP ARE USUALLY LIES.

 

An extra post just to cheer everyone up in time for the Monday Bank Holiday...

 

The Bald Truth is that after several years in politics I would be misleading readers if I claimed I was ever really surprised to see what is - to use the technical term - a complete load of old tosh being passed of as journalism in the local Pravda. But whilst cutting this Saturday's edition up into strips ready for the smallest room in the house I have to admit I almost was.

 

You see this particular piece of inaccurate, vitriolic garbage attacking yours truly was not written by one of the usual suspects - it was actually accredited to  none other than Jersey's newest Chief of Police, Mr. Mike Bowron. Yes, under a Letters page heading entitled 'No complaint against me!' Jersey's Chief of Police had launched into an angry rant about how I had 'impugned his integrity' and only done so apparently from 'the safety' of the States Chamber. 

 

Good old JEP - fearlessly highlighting yet another attack on his betters by that bolshie Leftie, Deputy Trevor Pitman...

 

Exciting, controversial stuff this was to be sure. And all arising as it did because of States questions asked of the Home Affairs Minister; this involving an alleged complaint made against the Chief of Police and an external report apparently relating to the matter. Indeed, so agitated and aggrieved was our Mr. Bowron that in attacking me he took the trouble to accuse no fewer than three times. In fact let's spell out for Bald Truth Jersey readers exactly what our top and most experienced policeman actually wrote about me at one one point.

 

'Perhaps Deputy Pitman will check his facts in future before he impugns my, or anyone else's, integrity within the safety of the States Chamber.' Ah, the strong and forthright approach to police work - you can't beat it, can you? Well, yes you can actually. Because unfortunately there is one small but ever so important thing wrong with Mr. Bowron's tirade against me...

 

I wasn't the politician who happened to ask these questions!

 

No - not a one of them. Just as a quick and cursory checking of Hansard or even the audio supplied by the excellent TJW Citizens' Media service would confirm.

 

The questions, and actually, when you know the background very interesting ones they are too, were asked by none other than my excellent colleague, Deputy Mike Higgins. Indeed, having spoken to the Deputy if Mr. Bowron would like to take the trouble I can tell him Mike Higgins will even be only too happy to confirm these facts himself.

 

So whatever can have happened to make the nice Mr. Bowron cast aside his spiffing new white police hat and have a secretary run off this not very nice letter about me for no reason at all? Of course, as you might understand I was deeply worried about potential consequences. Would I be the next one to have the door kicked in and be frog-marched off to a police cell to be left in my underpants and 'Viva Chavez!' tee shirt? Hell, would the Establishment never leave me alone?

 

Would it never end I asked myself? Wasn't it already bad enough that me and Shona had recently learnt that - unlike proper justice systems - the Bailiff's Office had allowed our defamation case against the newspaper to be presided over by a jurat who regulary shared din-dins with a defendant's director? Indeed, a Jurat who the Sharp Report makes quite clear felt it quite normal to have requested Victoria College governors to allow a predatory paedophile friend and colleague to stay on and work out his notice teaching children? Deeply concerned I knew I had to act fast.

 

Evidence - the foundation of all the best police work...

 

Luckily, having a standard policy of going on 'facts' and looking for 'evidence' in only a few minutes research, and without even arming myself with truncheon or high-powered taser (in fact without even having to illegally enter a local foreign Consul and steal someone's laptop or pretend storing sophisticated petrol bombs to attack your neighbours is something occurring in every normal household) I had ascertained just how this bizarre attack on me had come about.

 

Chief of Police Mike Bowron had been stupid enough to accept what was written in a Jersey Evening Pravda report on the States as being based in 'fact'.

 

Foolish beyond words I know you will agree - but there the offending article was when Mike Higgins kindly pointed it out to me. In Wednesday's account of what had apparently taken place during Tuesday's States Sitting the good old JEP, under the watchful eye no doubt of ace editor Chris Bright, was once again telling their readers I had said words and made accusations that never happened. Indeed, as I was to further discover, their report had about as much truth in it as did the equally bizarre column attributed to 'the Fly'.

 

For this piece actually had me apparently 'glaring menacingly' at my States neighbour and good friend, Deputy Richard Rondel in order to prevent him footstomping wildly for the second-coming of the Dean. Quite an achievement actually, as if Lucy Stephenson had only looked down from her eyrie she will have known Deputy Tadier and I had both walked out in protest at the appalling display of Establishment party insensitivity to a shamefully betrayed victim of abuse.

 

Still, 'facts' and the Jersey Eveing Pravda - at least when it comes to left-leaning politicians who have the affrontery to fight for justice and democracy - have been complete strangers for a good 70 years. Why should anyone expect things to be different now? No reason at all. This is a key aspect of 'the Jersey Way'. Indeed, the Establishment simply could  not continue to survive without such '1984' style twisting of events.

 

So look out by all means for the large and heartfelt apologies from both Police Chief Bowron; and Editor Bright too for letting this latest shoody reporting happen in the first place. But please don't hold your breath whilst doing so. It probably wouldn't be too good for your health...

Meanwhile, let's hope there isn't anything in these allegations of some kind of serious complaint: otherwise our Police Chief will look even sillier than he does right now.

 

Keep the Faith.